happy but sad
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: kelly clarkson
ok, so we found our for sure my sis is stayin here instead of going back to chatanooga which means we have to move. me and my mom have a two bedroom apartment. for a while me and my sis have been sharing my room, but now we need a 3 bedroom. so we are lookin to rent a house somewhere in cordova. whihc means im out of gtown high. which i have wantd for a long time, but now im scared. thats what ive known for tow years. everyone i know goes there except viki and kate and a few others. i guess getting away from the crowd i knew last year will be good. if i go back it wont be good, so yay! dont get me wrong im soooooo happy bout leavin!!!!! i hate gtown, ive wanted out since my freshamn year! but now that its happening its weird, im scared. im leavin nathan and ali and everyone else. oh well, fresh starts are good right?

now he calls?
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: kelly clarkson
ok, so i havent talked to him since we got out of school in may. and he texts me? then we talk on the phone. he tells me he misses me, thinks about me, dreams about me, and loves me?!?!?! where did this come from? last i heard he was dating my old best friend. he tells me of things he remembers when we were in 8th grade. things i barly remember, and i only remember when he tells me about them. i do remember him in 8th grade, but i dont remember him liking me. he also told me that he knew he loved since he first saw me. so what do i do? do i tell him i still have feelings, but im scared. that is how it is though. i am scared. scared to let him know i still feel for him. of everything weve been through, i dont want to get hurt or hurt him again. i still think about him and read the notes he gave me, but while reading the sweet ones, a bad memory always arises. when he told people losing his virginity to me was wrong.... and so i wonder how can he say that if he loves me? how could he date my best friend at the time? how can i still love him when he did this to me? how can he still love me when i left him for someone the friday before valentines day? we have hurt each other so much. when i told my mom he called, she didnt like it. she wants me to stay away from all of them, but i cant. not even ali. ive known ali since i was in 7th grade. weve been through a lot!!!! and so have me and nathan. i cant give all that up. contact with them helps me, but how do i tell her that? how do i tell her i still love him? how do i tell him im scared to love him? how can i let him back in my life with no pain?

a moment from my past
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: kelly clarkson
i remember at the playground we would play,
the day you pushed me on the swing
and held me up for a kiss.
i remember all the names we used to call you,
i regret being a part of that all.
i remember goin from my house to yours,
walking around dodging everyone else
cuz they used to make fun of us.
i remember every day of those years
living just down the street.
i remember your dad and my mom
your sister and mine
hiding from them at the park.
i remember breaking up,
getting back together,
never thinking it was much.
i remember you always questioned
every feeling i had for you.
i remember how sad i was
how mad i was
how. . . heartbroken i was
when i figured out you were moving.
i remember you coming back
hearing you outside my window,
on my skateboard as i remember.
i remember the first kiss we had,
having to kiss cody so he wouldnt tell.
i remember playing hide-n-seek
with the neighborhood kids,
when we jumped in the car
ended up making out.
its been six almost seven years
a crush can last that long?
even though i dont see you anymore?
i tell you it can
and it has.
youve never left my mind,
i always have these memories.
do you? do you remember these?
maybe others? did you forget?
can i help you remember?
lets just say i love you.
bc i do, i do love you.
i have since 5th grade.
now im shaking,
hoping you know its you im talking to.